SEARCH MY DESTINY

SEARCH FOR MY DESTINY

 

My name is Rhoda Nyundo Zulu. I am an ambitious, dynamic and progressive woman. I am aware that great people we admire are ordinary people just like you and me; only that they have a special drive, determination and desire (Developing the Leaders around You by John Maxwell). According to the Oxford Advanced Learners’ Dictionary, University Press 2002, to succeed is to achieve what you’ve been trying to get or to be victorious.  Hence I am on a pilgrim’s journey, towards my own uniqueness. So if you think that you are done with failure, then this essay is tailor made to inspire you.

When my mum was expecting me, my father was hoping for a boy, so though I was born a female, he still named me Harvey (meaning warrior), but I was christened Rhoda. One day I asked him why he called me Harvey,                

      “Our culture values a boy such that he is given charge of a family clan. This is one reason why although I grew up as an orphan in various families I still went further with school. Now I am  a father but  I soak my legs in a pail of water to remain awake and study. But your mother was denied further education by her own father who opted for her brother, yet the brother failed. I will give you all my energy so you can excel though you are a girl.”

I appreciated his determination as I wondered what was special about males. When I started standard one my teacher was female, Mrs Gomile. When I fell sick I was fascinated by a female nurse who treated me. In view of the nurse I admired nurses’ uniform, especially the white head cap. By and by these role models inspired me to work hard. In 1975 I was selected to Likuni Girls Secondary School. I was surprised by my father’s reward,

    “Learn to drive this Raleigh bicycle. I await to see you drive a vehicle one day as I do.”

While at Likuni Girls there were several career talks by women that were educated and were employed. Aim High Never Tire was the school slogan of encouragement. Regrettably back home relationship with my father turned sour after I only passed Malawi School Certificate of Education Exams. By not making it to university I failed to envisage any light beyond my failure. I was a shame even to our teachers since nobody was selected from our class. My father called me loud,

         “Harvey! Why did you fail? Your headmistress Sister Perpetua Zitande assured me you were university material.”

I looked down and left. “Why has Aim High, Never Tire failed to prove my success?”

All along I put maximum effort on my studies to please my father. May be I was complacent after mock exams listed me on top ten. I wiped out my tears and clenched my hands,

“This failure is not permanent,” I consoled myself.

One day a friend of mine, Jane from Ntcheu visited us. She too just like me, had only passed without getting selected to university. She sought permission from my parents that I should accompany her to Lilongwe. But I got surprised when she led me to her boyfriend; then her boyfriend brought me his friend to get married to. I refused; a situation which led to being booted out of their home. Then luck struck when my boyfriend Christopher Zulu from Ntcheu, who then worked at Malawi Housing Corporation in Blantyre, came to Lilongwe. He took me to Blantyre. When I wrote a letter updating my father about my whereabouts he instructed me to send back the chitenje (wrap around) that my mum had given me. As I wrapped and sent back the wrap around failed to figure out how else I would regain my father’s favour. My apology carried no weight- it only widen the gap between me and my father.  Few months later we got blessed with our first born daughter, Bertha in 1980 followed by a son, Patrick in 1982.

My ambition to be employed set me to apply and did interviews at Malawi Broadcasting Corporation, Malawi revenue Authority (MRA) then secured a job at Lever Brothers. It was a blessing in disguise when my husband left Blantyre upon securing employment with a construction company. I resigned to follow him although I hated that I became a housewife again. Few months later I applied and went to St Anne’s’ Midwifery School in Nkhotakota.  Little did I know that my husband silently applied for me to undergo training as a teacher which I had earlier refused. I complied; quit nursing and went to Lilongwe Teachers’ College. That same year I received a letter of success to start work at Malawi Broadcasting Corporation as an announcer. This was based on interviews done two previous years. I was in a hurry, decided to dump my husband’s choice; but my husband put me in a fix,

            “If you don’t want to be a teacher, come back to take care of the family.’’

I shed tears at the lost opportunity. Upon graduating as a teacher we arranged to formalize our marriage in Dedza. My father commended was pleased to hear I became a teacher. Hence I taught Standard two then later requested to teach the next higher class, every year. After I taught standard eight I requested teaching authorities to post me to a correspondence Secondary School. It worked and smiled as I commenced teaching at St Kizito Distance Education Centre. That same year I applied, succeeded and underwent a Diploma study at Domasi Teachers’ College in Zomba. Back home one day a neighbor, a woman whispered to me,

      “These women laugh at you. They claim your husband now does your female roles. One day he will remarry.”

Even my mother In- law lamented,

     “Why leave my son and these children?”

I did not answer back, but I was unstoppable. My husband advised me to ignore them. However, I encouraged one woman; she accepted, went back to a night secondary school and passed. She too went to a teacher college. Unfortunately her husband died just after she completed her course. After the funeral the gossipers envied her that she would ably take care of her family singlehandedly. Upon graduation I was posted to teach at Chichiri Secondary School. Hence for four years I taught Form 1 then 2 then 3 and 4. While I wondered what my next line of achievement would be, in 1999 I heard a radio advert for producers and presenters at Malawi Broadcasting Corporation (MBC). I immediately forwarded application, interviewed and got employed. One of my brainchild programmes was ‘Mai Wamakono’ (A woman of today). I got inspired by break throughs that some outstanding women had made. Among notable women interviewed were former president of Malawi Mrs Joyce Banda who by then chaired National Association of Business Women in Malawi (NABW) and Mrs Anastazia Msosa who was then a high court judge.

In 2001 MBC management trained me in development journalism then seconded to the Development Broadcasting Unit of MBC. Our Kenyan manager sponsored me in driving and the first car I drove for three years was a land rover. I visited my father with the land rover; we found him drinking chibuku (local beer made from fermented maize). I felt pride and joy as he crowned me,

       “Now you are the pillar of our family.” 

In 2003 I got a scholarship through the Joint OXFAM Programme in Malawi; hence I did undergo post graduate certificate in Non Governmental Organisations’ Management with Imperial College, University of London. I passed with a credit. I was very glad that long at last I had regained closeness to my parents. In 2005 I applied and got a scholarship from National Media Institute, went to the Rhodes University in South Africa to study Media Leadership and Management with the Sol Plaatje Media Institute. My face was awash with smiles on this long awaited first flight, the fantastic scenery of Tambo International Airport, Johannesburg town then to Graham’s town where Rhodes University is. One day I met an old European woman past the university library. She had a walking stick to support her balance. We greeted and she told me her pride as she was doing her Masters in education after she retired long time ago. I informed her that I failed to make it to university. She looked at me held my hand and said,

“Look at me. I just turned 60 years. I will not die before I attain my first degree. Go back to school.”

I recalled I was 48 years old while I crowned this woman. I thought this woman was my angel. I promised to take next action.

With my husband we bought a plot at Machinjiri Area 12; after which purchased four more plots. We now have planted over fifty fruit trees. This was yet a long time dream realised.

                      

                         Our house at plot 1 of our five plots

Another milestone was that I applied and studied Community Development at the Malawi Polytechnic. I passed with higher credit. Come 2008 I applied, succeeded interviews then joined Story Workshop Educational Trust (SWET), a local media Organisation. Next I applied to a private university which by then was accredited by the Malawi Government-Blantyre International University. I continued studying community development; such that I then joined a class level which our fourth born daughter Caroline Zulu was. I did distant learning while I continued doing community work. (See pictures below).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                     Rhoda (centre) captured during community nutrition displays

               

                   Above: Rhoda, from a radio producer to community development facilitator

As we chatted my husband commended that teaching career had developed me. I thanked him. Unfortunately he passed on in 2013 before I graduated in 2014. I marveled as Professor Charles Chamthunya encouraged me,

         “Congratulations, always aim high.”

I smiled while inwardly recalling, “Aim high never tire.”                   

My continued search for career advancement resurfaced when in 2017 I applied, selected and started Masters of Health and Behavior Change Communication at the Malawi Polytechnic University. Out of 38 students who started, we are only 16 remaining. The rest gave up because it is tough going but am determined to score.

Let me point out that I discovered my writing potential upon being tasked to write community stories for projects’ visibility. One of my feature articles I wrote was “Kanthu nkhama motomoto’ (hard work pays). Mr Sambalikagwa Mvona, then an editor of the magazine) from Moni (greetings) magazine who had selected this article invited me to join the Malawi writers’ Union.

Since then am always close to my pen and paper. One of my writings is Flight to Success, an insipirational article, published in the Bachelor of Chikanda, an anthology of the Malawi Writers’ Union. Through continued personal efforts I have undergone international training by FEMRITE Uganda Women Writers, an all Women Writers’ Workshop in Kampala, Uganda, in 2011. While there I interacted and contributed to an African Women Writers’ Anthology, Summoning the Rains, in 2012; with my short story, Knife Pleat Skirt. The story was derived from a gender based violence incident which is believed to have occurred in Malawian community. I was further privileged when I got a scholarship to join active female writers from some African countries at Rockefeller Foundation, Bellagio Centre in Milan, Italy. There we setup the African Women Writers Network.

Finally, bear with me that not all goals will be achieved; not every dream will come true. But you must keep on in motion while you stay focused. Surmount any discomfort on your life journey for I have never seen a storm last forever.  Don’t ever give up. Rise up soon after every fall because your best stories will come from your struggles. I am unique because I always turn my failures into seeds for my next achievement.

  Rhoda Zulu steps up the ladders at the Bellargio Flat, Milan Italy, 2014

 

I love Malawi, my sweet home

 

 

 

 

Sharing joys of female contributors to anthology, The Grafted Tree